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A Week of Death, Lovely Weather [Week In Review]

• What a beautiful week. Gorgeous. We're gonna go walk around and drink some more, it's so nice. Maybe we'll wear a dress!
• So. Let's be cheerful! That Hillary Clinton sure is plucky, right? Who could've predicted we'd still be admiring her tenacity, well into late April? No one!
• We're not even letting Gossip Girl or pervy reporters get us down! Sure, we hate America, but sometimes we love it.
• Well. Some things still upset us, a little. But on the other hand, someone threw a pie at Thomas Friedman.
• Chelsea Clinton and Rupert Murdoch both had very busy weeks. We spent a little more time examining Rupert's, as he fired the Journal's managing editor. Read all our astute commentary and analysis in one convenient tag!
• Julia Allison threatened to out one of our commenters and Greg Gutfeld threatened to beat one up. But we got the last laugh!
• Hotties scored sweet gigs. That is a fun sentence to say. Or to transcribe.
• Everyone is still gay, except at The Beatrice Inn.
• How sexist is this? What about this? Wait, sorry—that one's sexy.
• Newspaper killed by internet! (WATCH IT NOW)
• New York's all right if you like video games.

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HEADLINES

McCain takes 5-point lead over Obama

In a sharp turnaround, the Republican candidates has opened a 5-point lead on his Democratic rival and is seen as a stronger manager of the economy, according to a Reuters/Zogby poll.

Mexico outraged over corrupt police, kidnappings (AP) AP - After kidnappers in police uniforms set up a fake checkpoint to snatch 14-year-old Fernando Marti off a Mexico City street, his businessman father paid hundreds of thousands of dollars in ransom, and waited for his son's safe return.

Georgian separatists line up for Russian recognition (AFP)

AFP - Georgia's South Ossetia and Abkhazia regions planned rallies Thursday to ask Russia for recognition as independent states, two weeks after Russian troops occupied both provinces.