Whoever was in charge of scheduling this little party might find him/herself out of a job on Sunday, if the Battle Of The Century erupts on Saturday.  Yes, Hollywood’s weirdest triangle–Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, and Jennifer Aniston–is fixing to converge in one spot for one night only:

Angie and baby-daddy Brad Pitt are on the host committee of The Night Before—a charity event held the evening prior to the Academy Awards—but Brad’s ex-wife, Aniston, is also a hostesses with the mostest. If all parties show it cold be the climax to a colossal confrontation that began three years ago when Brad left Jen in 2005 claiming it had nothing to do with Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star, spent the next several months denying he had any relationship with his Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star, then proceeded to publicly, kiss, cuddle and raise half the world’s children with his Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star. The two women have yet to meet since—yummy!

Well, well, well.  I wonder just how many Rolaids ol’ Brad has consumed since learning of this little date on his calendar.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not on Team Aniston, Team Jolie, or Team Pitt.  I think they’re all overpaid, narcissistic, self-important blowhards.  Between Angelina’s compulsion to adopt more children than most people give birth to in a lifetime (and apparently producing more of her own biological ones as well) and her conviction that she’s the only one who can save the world, Brad’s wishy-washy approach to life, marriage, his ex-wife, and his commitment vows, and Jennifer’s inability to move on already from a two-timing, lying, hit-with-the-ugly-stick loser (and I’m not talking about Vince Vaughn), they could all disappear into the background and I wouldn’t cry.

But wait…the Battle Of The Century may not happen after all:

The annual pre-Oscars party is being held this year on Saturday, February 23, at the pool at the Beverly Hills Hotel, and three of the event’s hosts are none other than Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. The event planner tells PageSix.com that all of the hosts have committed to hosting the fundraiser. However, don’t get too excited for the girls to finally throw down over Brad because Jen’s rep tells PageSix.com that she might not be able to attend.

Although her rep confirmed that Jen, who is currently filming Traveling in Vancouver, is on the host committee, the former Friends star “doesn’t know if her production schedule will allow her to attend.” Looks like we will have to wait and see what Jen — sorry, what her production schedule — decides.

Oh, come on, Jennifer.  You’ve played the “poor jilted woman” long enough.  You stay in a mindset, you start to believe it.  Stop wasting your time pining after a man who thought so little of your relationship that he succumbed to She Who Must Not Be Named’s magic vajayjay.  And if you really want a child bad enough, there are many children waiting to be adopted who would love a good home.

And Brad/Angelina?  Yeah.  Stop with the kids, already.  You have enough now.  Whatever Angelina is attempting to bandaid, she needs to work out some other way besides amassing a brood of children.  Oh, and tell Angelina she needs to stay home and actually take care of those kids.  But who am I?  I believe that if a celeb has a kid, they need to drop out of sight for eighteen years.

Not that it would be such a bad thing in this case.