I don’t normally talk about John Mayer, his blog, which big-titted starlet he’s boinking or any other manner of inconsequential nonsense. This is a serious blog, not some frivolous site where we scrawl little penises next to people’s mouths. Plus, I am not good at Photoshop.

Anyway, I saw this story and had to respond because I think it’s really sweet John felt compelled to stick up for his former paramour Jessica Simpson, as she continues to her reign of cursing all whom she comes in contact with until they wise up and move on. Then somehow, their career’s soar. Weird.

As we all know, the Dallas Cowboys lost their bid for the Super Bowl title when they were beaten by the NY Giants. It is likely the Cowboys would have lost anyway, because these things happen, but as it stands, their quarterback Tony Romo is dating Jessica Simpson and they’ve been on a losing streak since she showed up and Sunday was no different.

Cowboy fans and Texas people alike have maligned the poor girl and John spoke up on her behalf on his blog:

Dear Dallas and Surrounding Areas,

This isn’t a sports blog, and it isn’t a publicity stunt. (but have at me if it feels right.)

This is about doing what I think is right as a person, in this case speaking my mind.

I have never known anyone to have more pride in their home state and their upbringing in it than Jessica Simpson has in Texas. I don’t really follow sports, but I have played some of my biggest and best concerts in your state, and having witnessed how dynamic the spirit there is, I’m betting emotions are running high right about now.

All witty barbs, blogs, and fashion policing aside, that girl loves Texas more than you know. It’s one of her most defining traits as a person. So please don’t try and take that away from her. (You probably wouldn’t be able to, but it’s less work for all involved.)

I just thought it would mean something coming from the guy who has the absolute least to gain from this. And if I’m out of line in having written it, too bad. I can spare a Wednesday’s worth of bad press if it means sticking up for a good soul.

JM

Well John, that was almost worthy of a “Breath Of Fresh Air” Award, but since it’s so incredibly dumb, we’ll give you an award for “A Waft Of Cloying Nonsense” instead. Congrats!